Give You What You Gave Me
by SpokenWords07
Summary: "If the whole world was ending, even on my last breath I would try," she opened her eyes looking into my soul. "What would you try to do," I put my hand on her face, "To give you what you gave me 16 years ago." She leans into my touch closing her eyes, "And what is that, Mayan?" I smile, "Just love."
1. Prelude

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Pretty Little Liars characters.**

**A/N: Enjoy.**

**Prelude**

The sunlight is making its way through the blinds. Wait I don't have shutters in my room. My head is pounding as I feel around for Emily, "Em." I'm finally able to crack my eyes open.

"Oh, this definitely isn't Emily but you seemed alright with it last night."

I fell off the bed forcing my eyes open, seeing a tall brunette with only a sheet wrapped around her body. I start gasping for air as if its my last breath, "No, no, I wouldn't do that to Em. I couldn't, I won't believe it."

I rush to pick up my clothes as she leaned back on the bed looking satisfied, " Well I have to admit, I certainly enjoyed it. And by the way you reacted, I definitely know you did but that's not surprising."

I shake my head actually my whole body is shaking, "Just shut up." I rush to the door as she stands up with the white sheet, "Why are you so upset, at least you called me wifey's name last night," she chuckled.

"So she had to be on your mind," the next thing I know is my hand is wrapped around her throat squeezing whatever life it had it in it out. "Don't ever speak on my wife. I don't know how I ended up here or even where I am but I will find out, is that clear"? I let go of her and slam the door shut.

I lean against the wall outside trying to take it my surroundings, running my hands through my hair trying to remember anything from last night. I can't think of anything, the last thing I remember is having a show in New York. I look at the room number 425 and make my way downstairs. I see the concierge, "Excuse me, my name is Maya St Germain-Fields, can you tell me what room I'm checked into."

She types on the computer, "Yes ma'am, room 425." I sigh, " Ok, what day did I check in, sorry its been a long day or two." She continues to look, " You checked last night," I nod my head, " Ok thank you."

I walk away from the desk and make my way to find my car. I finally find it and just sit in my car trying to contemplate this whole situation. With tears running down my face at a pace I've never thought could be possible, I make my way back to Rosewood. To where my heart is but I don't know if she'll ever forgive me for something I can't even remember.

**Back at the hotel...**

"I didn't sign up to be choked or anything," the brunette said looking in the mirror talking to her phone. "I'm going to need more money for that shit."

A distorted voice answered back, "Money isn't a problem, you did your job, sometimes jobs come with a price." There was a knock at the door and the brunette opened to see a black bag on the ground full of money.


	2. Accidents Happen

**Disclaimer: See Prelude.**

**A/N: Enjoy. R/R. The real fun starts now.**

~Now it hurts to be around or even converse with you. ~

Chapter 1

I pull into the driveway and park. I look in the mirror to and see bloodshot swollen eyes from my crying. I get out the car and see Emily sitting on the porch wiping her eyes, next to her a suitcase. She hears me walk up and looks up, "Maya, where have you been and don't lie to me."

I look down at her and try to come closer but she backs up shaking her head, "No, don't touch me just tell me where you have been now." I swallow and nod my head, "Em, you know I'm always truthful with you and I'd never lie to you."

She interrupted me, "Maya just tell me you cheated on me and so we can be through." I open my mouth but words just don't come out but I feel the tears on my face. "Emily, you're my wife you have to believe me when I say that I don't know what happened for the past day. I can't remember anything but waking up to a random girl."

I look up her and see a river of tears flowing down her face. "Are you back on drugs," I gasp, " Em, baby."

She looks at my with eyes of fury, "I'm not your baby anymore or anything. I haven't been since this morning when I got a picture of you and some whore together in bed. How could you Maya, after everything we've been through together. You just throw away me and Richie, your family."

I feel my whole being breaking seeing where she is leading with this, "Emily, don't do this you have to believe me. I know everything is against me but you have to believe me, I would never do this to you, I love you so much and Richie. I wouldn't destroy our family for anything. Please just give me a chance," I say pleading with her.

She shakes her head while she stands up and picks up the suitcase, "Maya, a picture speaks a thousand words. You've been so sneaky lately, withdrawing crazy amounts of money out of a secret account and going out of town all the time. The US we once had is over. You can't ever explain yourself. You can see Richie at my mom's house when I'm not there. Don't call or contact me unless its for Richie." I open my mouth to speak but she just cuts me off, "Maya just leave ok, there's nothing left to say anymore."

I just pick up the suitcase and run to the car. I drive off with tears blurring my vision not knowing where I'm going. I pull over to the side of the road so I wouldn't crash. I try to think of anyone to call but my friends were Emily's friends and my parents died a few years back. I think of Pam, we've gotten so close after I graduated from high school but she'll hate me now.

All I hear is a loud screech and everything goes black.

* * *

**Dream**

Emily and I are standing on the lake in white dresses with everyone around us.

The preacher looks at me, "Maya, do you take Emily to be your lawful wedded wife, to love, comfort, and honor her, forsaking all others giving yourself to her alone as long as you both shall live."

I look into her gorgeous brown eyes smiling, "I do."

The preacher turns to Emily and repeats, "Emily, do you take Maya to be your lawful wedded wife, to love, comfort, and honor her, forsaking all others giving yourself to her alone as long as you both shall live."

She looks at me, " No, I'd never marry a cheater."

Everything starts fading and all I hear over and over is, "I'm going to make you feel the same pain I felt when you took her"

**Dream End**

* * *

I try to open my eyes grimacing and my head is pounding. I see Emily sitting in a chair across the room with her arms crossed tapping her foot on the ground. I feel the pound behind my eyes with every tap.

"You're just on a roll today aren't you. Tell me again that you aren't using drugs." I see the look of disappoint and anger in her eyes but even more the hurt.

"Emily, you know that I quit drugs years ago and swore off of them. I couldn't bear the thought of doing that to you or Rich." She jumps up, " Bear of doing that to us, I find that hard to believe."

I shake my head, "Baby you have to believe me." She puts her hand up," I told you not to call me that anymore. How do you expect me to believe you with what I got this morning. I'm worried sick about you all night you're not answering your phone then I wake up to that picture. Fuck you Mayan. Then you pull this stunt and they find heroin in your system. You're lucky Caleb was the one who got to you first. Any other officer would have you in jail."

I try to sit up in bed, " I don't know how the accident happened, I pulled over to the side of the road." She shakes her head not believing me, "Whatever, in tired of the lies and sneaky around. You have secret bank accounts where you're taking out outrageous amounts of money. You have drugs in your system. I can't deal with you nor do I want to."

I feel the tears creating a river down my face, "Emily, I'm sorry, you have to believe me. You know that Rich and you are my world. I'd never try to destroy that."

I see her eyes rimming with tears, "But you did Maya, you broke my heart and what am I suppose to do when you're the only who knows how to put it back together. I can't do this. You have a concussion and someone has to watch you but I can't. I need to take care of Richard. If you want to see him tell my mom, I can't be around you. Don't call unless its for him." I nod my head, "Where am I suppose to go Em."

"You can stay with me." I see Pam standing in the door. "Mom, you can't be serious. How can you even fathom that thought," Emily yells.

"Emily, where else does she have to go? She's been in a car accident, she doesn't need to be alone." Emily scoffs, "Oh so I don't need you then. How can you be there for her and me."

Pam wipes the tears on her face, "Emily, don't be like that you're both my daughters. The girls are waiting for you at the house. You know I'm always here for you and that I love you."

Emily turns to walk on the door, "Don't take your anger for me out on her Em she is just trying to help."

She looks back at me, "Fuck you Maya." I've never know Emily to say something with so much hatred. Until now that is.

* * *

I'm looking out the window as Pam is talking to the doctor. I hear a knock at the door and see Caleb walking in. He gives a small smile, "Are you alright Maya," I shake my head no. I know I look like all hope is gone and that's exactly how I feel.

"Well, so far all we have is that your accident was a hit and run. I'm going to find who did this to you." I feel like this is just a cruel dream that I can't wake up from. I just start sobbing and Caleb pulled me into his arms letting me cry. He keeps saying how everything will work itself out and be fine. I try to pull myself together and stop crying.

I hear Caleb's radio calling him into the station. "Maya, I have to go but give me a call if you ever need to talk. I know the girls will be with Emily but just know that I'm here for you." I nod my head, "Thanks Caleb, for everything." He smiles and gives Pam a hug on the way out.

Pam comes in and sits on the bed. She puts her hand on the hair rubbing my head. "Maya, are you ok," I shake my head no. "I don't think I ever will be if I don't have Emily in my life anymore."

I feel her shift on the bed, "So can you tell me what happened," I finally sit up on the bed. "Can we get out of this hospital first," she nods and helps me up of the bed.

I'm staying in Emily's old room which is ironic because we have had so many good memories in here.

I hear a knock on the door and I tell Pam to come in. She comes in with a tray with water and a sandwich, "I thought you could use some food." She sets the tray on the bed, "Yes, thank you."

She sits down on the other side of the bed, "So tell me what happened." I take a sip of the water and begin, "Well only you and the girls know that last night was my last show. All of the traveling was putting a strain on the marriage. I love playing jazz but Emily and Richard are my world. I remember finishing the last set and then getting a hotel room because it was too late for me to drive tired. Then everything gets blurry, I went downstairs in the lobby and don't remember anything else."

I feel a knot in my throat and I have to get this painful sentence out, "I woke up next to a woman who wasn't the only I promised my life too and I don't know how," I say sobbing.

Pam wraps me in her arms and just let's me cry. "Pam, you have to believe me when I say I wouldn't cheat on Emily. I love her too much and Richie to ever rip apart my family. I won't believe it happened, I can't."

I hear the phone ring and Pam picks it mouthing that it was Wayne. She steps outside the room and I can only hear pieces of the conversation, "Hey...yeah she's staying here..I know..I know she's just upset..they're both hurting..no, no he's with Caleb..ok I will..ok love you too."

She walks back in the room, " Wayne, said he's praying for both of you." I nod my head while I wipe my tears.

She looks me in my eyes for a long time before speaking, "Maya, for some reason I believe you. All the evidence is against you but I just feel it that something is missing. I just want you to know I'm here for you and you can stay as long as you want." I smile giving Pam a hug.

She gets up, "I'm going to let you rest but don't go to sleep yet for a couple hours." Something is resonating in me, "Actually, Pam, do you think we could go by the church for awhile." She walks over hugging me tightly, "Of course Maya."

* * *

**Elsewhere in Rosewood**

A black glove puts the gear into neutral.

A car door slams.

Two hands push the car towards the cliff.

It slowly starts to roll, "Sometimes you just need a little push to start rolling."


	3. Take It All

**Disclaimer: See Prelude.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Enjoy.**

~You're giving up so easily, I thought you loved me more than this~

Chapter 2

Weeks later.

I see my son running towards me. He looks so much like his mom with almond shaped eyes and shy smile. He's also tall for his age and athletic of course, I wouldn't know how that couldn't get passed down to him.

"Mamaaa" I hold my arms wide open, "I haven't seen you in so long."

I squeeze my little boy, " Hey Bub, it hasn't been that long only one day." He picks his backpack up, " I know Mama but I like seeing you everyday."

I smile at him feeling a jolt of pang hit my heart, "I know but remember the talk Mommy and I had with you about us spending some time apart from each other."

We start walking to the car, " Yes Mama but its been weeks already. Can't you just say sorry a gazillion time and then you come back home."

I feel my eyes start to water and I kneel down to be eye level with him, "Bub, I promise you I'll try my best. Meanwhile, you keep your Mommy smiling for me." He nods his head, "Sooooo, grandma told me that someone has been asking for pizza. Hmmmm maybe it was Dylan."

Richie gasps, "Mama noooo it was me, it's my favorite. Mommy didn't get me any this week cause you said you would."

I laugh and russle his shaggy curly black hair, "I know I was just kidding, lets go get my favorite guy in the world some pizza."

* * *

I pull up in the driveway and get Richie out the car. We walk hand in hand to the door. Emily opens the door, I haven't seen her since the hospital. She's either had one of the girls or guys drop Richie off. He runs up to Em and hugs her leg, she kisses his forehead. "Go wash up, you need to do your homework."

He gushes at her, "Mommy, guess what, I did all my homework already. Mama said I could only get dessert if I did and I really wanted a brownie."

She smiles at him, "Well since you did I guess you can watch a show before bed time." He so excited and runs in the house, "Thanks Mommy."

I look at Emily giving her a small smile and see my little man running back outside, "Gosh I forgot to say bye. Bye Mama, I see you soon." I kiss his cheek and nod yes. He runs back in the house waving bye.

Emily sits on the porch step and motions for me to sit down next to her. I'm nervous on what to say, luckily she speaks first, "How are you Maya, with everything."

I look at the ground for awhile cause I know I'll just get lost in her I mean how couldn't you, "Its been better now that I'm seeing Richie almost everyday, I missed him. Emily I miss you, so much. I know you need your space but just know if you need help or anything let me know." She gives a small smile nodding her head, "Mayan, you know I'll always love you right."

Every time she calls me by my full name I know she means business. "You're the mother of my child who you carried for me. We've been through so much from the whole A in high school to college. No one will ever replace you in my life. But I think that we should officially separate."

If you could see a snapshot of my face right now, I believe the best word to describe it is disbelief. She didn't even give me a chance, how did we get here.

If anyone asked me if I ever thought I wouldn't be with the love of my life after we married I would have laughed at them. She has called my name about five times now. I've yet to answer cause I don't want to finish this conversation and be even further from her. I feel her hands on my face and I lean into her touch as it was the first time.

"Maya, are you going to say anything," she says bringing my eyes to hers.

I shake my head and let out a sob, "Why not."

She wipes my tears, "Cause if I do I can see how this ends. I don't want to think of us not getting back together. That's not how envisioned the rest of our lives spent together. Richie isn't suppose spend days with me and with you separate."

I stand up but she grabs my wrist, "So you're just going to walk away without finishing this conversation."

I turn back to her, "If you're giving up this easy," and I wish she wasn't but I look in her eyes knowing the answer.

"Look, Maya I'm not saying this is forever. I just need to really breathe without you." I feel like she's trying to give some hope but I know her.

When she's made up her mind, it's set in stone. I wipe my tears putting on a stronger face, "Emily, it's fine, all of this is my fault and I know you. You've probably played this out in your mind plenty of times. I'll move out your parents place this week, you're dad is coming home soon anyways. I feel like I'm intruding. I'll just come by and get my stuff while you're at work."

I can't handle this anymore I'm going to breakdown. "You know you're not intruding they love you and don't mind you're there."

I shake my head and say it for her, "But you can't handle it Em. I don't want to mess up that relationship for you too. It's fine, look I'm gonna go, I need to- I have some errands to run. Bye, tell Richie I'll call him and I'll see him in a few days."

I don't look back and get my car to only make it two blocks down before I pull over. I cried for what seemed like a lifetime.

* * *

I hear a knock on my window, it's dark outside but I know everyone in Rosewood. I try to wipe my face of all my tears and redness I've accumulated. I see a face I haven't seen in awhile, "Hey Maya."

I look up to see Hanna as I roll down the window. I'm surprised she's talking to me, "Caleb was patrolling and said he seen you in the same spot for hours. He wanted me to check on you. Actually I've been wanting to check on you, I just don't know how to really start."

I push my hair behind ear, "ok, do you want to get coffee and we can talk there." She gives a nod and walks back to her car.

* * *

I take a sip of my coffee and breathe in the aroma. Really just breathe in anything to feel like I'm alive.

Hanna clears her throat and I look up, " I- um talked to Em this afternoon, she seemed kinda shook up. I know she asked to separate but its hurting her two, you know she loves you."

I sighed leaning back in my seat, "I think I was more than her. I just don't know what to do anymore. I ruined the most important thing in my life and I can't remember how, what, who or when. Not to mention ruining friendships and other relationships."

There was silence at the table for a minute or two before Hanna spoke, "I know you and Caleb got closer when the girls and I all left Rosewood. I know he's been real supportive and understanding even more so cause he was in Emily's position 4 years ago." I look up shocked because they never showed signs of problems really.

"I cheated on him and I broke his heart. Before I had Dylan I had a miscarriage and it crushed me so bad. I was so ashamed I failed Caleb, he was just there for me unconditionally and whole heartily like a partner should be. I just couldn't handle it, so I resorted back to old Hanna and got too drunk. I did something I will always regret that I did to him. The pain I caused him hurt so bad and even more cause I couldn't fix it."

She takes another sip of her coffee when I ask, "How did he forgive you?"

She takes a deep breath before answering, "Truthfully I gave him space he needed. I had to respect him for asking for it too because things don't change over night. I didn't talk to him for so long, luckily people didn't notice cause we never went out too much anyways. But eventually time healed everything and he said that even though I broke his heart, it would shatter if I wasn't in his life anymore. And slowly he let me put the pieces back together."

She looks up at me and smiles, "I really think the four of us, Ari, Spence, Em, and I, met our soul mates in high school. I think, hope, and pray you two can work it out because if any couple out of us four deserve it, it's you two. Everything you two have been through and over come is amazing."

I wipe a tear nodding my head, I feel her grasp my hand, "If you don't mind could you tell me what happened because I just don't understand. We were, well more of you were planning Emily's dream wedding that cost a fourth of your royalties."

I tell her the story of what I remember and don't remember. "And I keep having these weird dreams from the night of someone talking to me."

She shifts in her seat, "That's weird, maybe I can get Caleb to check into some stuff about that."

I nod my head, "Yeah that would be great, thanks for everything Hanna. You know you didn't have to talk to me or anything."

She shakes her head, "I just know how hard it was for me and I didn't even talk nor have I talked to the girls about this. Just know that I can be here for you and Emily, you're both my friends."

I smile at her, "Thanks. I know Spencer won't talk to me, well she yelled at me. And Ari just looks so disappointed in me. Only the guys have really talked to me and that is barely because the counterparts weren't happy about it. I just want a chance you prove myself, there's this feeling in the back of my mind that something important from the night is."

The check gets to the table and I pay for it, "Maya I can get it." I scoff at her, "Hanna, all four of our families are pretty well off, you can get the next one no worries."

She smiles and grabs my hand giving it a squeeze, "Ok ok. But Maya you know if you ever want to go back to that night Caleb will help you."

I stand up from my seat, "Yeah, he told me I just don't know if I'm ready yet."

* * *

**Elsewhere in Rosewood**

A brunette and red head sit on the porch laughing.

Click.

Picture Message with text

When old flames are put out, its easier to go get wood from the wood pile then to make put ashes together.

Recipient: Maya St Germain-Fields

A black glove finger presses send.


End file.
